The Regulation Compass 5R parenting framework: Read, Re-Establish, Respond, Regulate and Repair

Built from thousands of hours in the therapy room.

The Regulation Compass was developed by Jesse Diggins, a developmental psychologist who has built his reputation working with some of the most complex young people in Australia, and translating that work into something every parent can use at home.

I also have a four-year-old and a one-year-old. I find parenting testing pretty much every day. I'm teaching this from inside it, not from a distance.

The co-regulation principles taught in this course are the same ones used at a specialist school where Jesse worked, which reduced major behavioural incidents from 150 a year to fewer than 10. These principles are detailed in academic literature (1).

Jesse is also the founder of Strength Psychology, the biggest child and adolescent psychology clinic in the Geelong region, and Psychs in Schools who supports more than 70 schools in Australia.

  • Endorsed Educational and Developmental Psychologist

  • Researcher and Evaluator (ReLATE Model); 5+ years in specialist school settings

  • Founder of Strength Psychology; 8+ years in private practice with families

  • Founder of Psychs in Schools; Servicing 70+ schools around Australia

(1) Diggins, J. (2021). Reductions in behavioural and emotional difficulties from a specialist, trauma-informed school. Educational and Developmental Psychologist, 38(2), 194-205.

Portrait of Jesse Diggins, psychologist and founder of The Regulation Compass

About The Regulation Compass

Most parenting advice fails because it disregards the function and intensity of the child’s behaviour.

When a child is in nervous system overwhelm, reasoning, teaching, and consequences often cannot land. The strategy itself may not be wrong. It has simply been deployed at the wrong moment.

The Regulation Compass was built around a different premise.

Children’s behaviour changes meaning depending on:

  • the intensity of the emotional state

  • whether the behaviour is proactive or reactive

  • the level of nervous system activation

  • and the developmental capacity available in that moment

That means effective parenting cannot rely on one universal response.

The right move depends on the moment.

The Regulation Compass is a behavioural decision-making framework designed to help parents and clinicians read what a child is actually showing them, then respond with greater clarity, calm, and confidence.


The Behaviour Cipher

At the centre of the framework is The Behaviour Cipher.

The Cipher acts as a decision map for emotionally loaded moments. It helps parents decode:

  • behavioural intensity

  • proactive versus reactive presentations

  • nervous system state

  • emotional function

  • and which parenting stance is most likely to help

Rather than asking:
“What parenting strategy should I use?”

The framework asks:
“What is this behaviour communicating right now?”

Once the behaviour is decoded correctly, the response becomes clearer.

The framework then guides parents through five movements:

  • Read

  • Re-Establish

  • Respond

  • Regulate

  • Repair

These movements are supported by a series of practical tools including:

  • Parenting Like A Pilot

  • Elastic Responses

  • The Silent 10

  • The Regulation Diamond

  • The 3 Step Reset

Together, they create a shared language for parents, clinicians, schools, and families navigating emotional and behavioural complexity.

Drawn from

The Regulation Compass draws from:

  • Developmental Neurobiology

  • Attachment Research

  • Therapeutic Crisis Intervention (TCI)

  • Co-Regulation Research

  • Trauma-Informed Practice

  • Emotional Development Research

  • Behavioural and Systems-Based Parenting Frameworks

The goal was never to create another overly academic parenting model.

It was to translate clinically useful concepts into practical tools that can actually be remembered and applied during real-world parenting moments.

About the creator

Jesse Diggins is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist and founder of Strength Psychology and Psychs in Schools.

Across thousands of hours working with children, adolescents, families, and schools, a recurring pattern emerged. Parents were not lacking care or commitment. Most were overwhelmed by emotionally intense moments and unsure which response would actually help.

Some parents were drifting toward harshness and emotional withdrawal. Others were becoming so afraid of relational rupture that boundaries began to collapse altogether.

The Regulation Compass was developed to bridge that gap.

Initially shaped through clinical work with emotionally reactive children, school-based intervention, crisis regulation, and parent coaching, the framework has evolved into a practical decision-making model used to help families:

  • reduce escalation

  • hold boundaries calmly

  • understand behaviour more accurately

  • and repair relationships after difficult moments

At its core, The Regulation Compass is built around a simple idea:

Children do not need perfect parents.

They need adults who can stay steady, reflective, emotionally available, and willing to repair