It’s easy to have an opinion about the child screaming in the supermarket. It’s harder to know what’s happening for them.

A tantrum and a meltdown can look identical from the next aisle. Even as the parent, you might struggle to tell them apart.

I think we sometimes make this harder by assuming an autistic child is always overwhelmed, or a neurotypical child is always pushing boundaries. Neither assumption tells us much about this particular moment.

I’ve written about how goal-direction and nervous system activation help us understand the difference, using the two questions from The Behaviour Cipher.

Including how to use them when you’re tired, embarrassed and just trying to get the shopping done.

Link in the comments.